Valentine’s and Birthday Love

by Karen Elizaga | Posted: February 16th, 2012 | No Comments »

I have been thinking a lot about love this week. Clearly, there are the never-ending commercials reminding us to go out and buy our loved ones anything from simple cards to elaborate jewelry, as well as the store windows adorned with all things red and pink. I suppose Valentine’s Day is a reminder that we ought to be expressing love and gratitude for that special someone in our life. But two questions: (1) why just Valentine’s Day and (2) why just someone else?

I have a friend whose birthday, like mine, comes within two days of Valentine’s Day. So like me, there’s no double celebration. In my house on Valentine’s Day, we exchange cards and give the kids little gifts. My friend is not fussed about it at all, and his comment, which I found so perfect: “If you have to wait til Valentine’s Day to show your spouse you’re into her, your marriage is kind of in trouble.” This is a guy who clearly loves his wife.

Makes sense. Love on 1 out of 365 days? Not so good. So that addresses my first question. I love the idea of Valentine’s Day everyday – expressions of gratitude, love and desire, notes, flowers, and all the stuff associated with this one day a year. Doesn’t have to be anything fancy. Just an expression of love, or even some basic positive feedback will do, thank you!

Deeper than that, it’s great that Valentine’s Day celebrates love for others. For sure. But what about love for ourselves? This is the most critical and fundamental love. This love for yourself guides you through happy times (and in fact, nurtures your happiness), as well as pulls you through the really challenging times.

Without self-love, we don’t nurture ourselves, feed ourselves with care, believe in our abilities, exercise regularly, show up in relationships as equal and loving partners. With it, you’re pretty powerful. It’s the beginning of your confidence and the base of your self-esteem. It underlies everything you do. And with it, “everything” equals a lot.

Imagine how much you can achieve and overcome if you have as much love for yourself as you do for the person you love most in your life, perhaps your Valentine. Imagine how much confidence and belief you’d have in what you are capable of doing. Imagine the insecurities and non-belief you can ditch because of your unbending love for yourself. Imagine the peace. And the acceptance.

Today is my 41st birthday, and with it following Valentine’s Day, I just thought a birthday is a good reminder for all of us to take a moment to think about all the things we love about ourselves. Big and little. You know, all of the things that we might take for granted and not think about in favor of all of the ways we come up short. We’ve made it so easy for ourselves to think about all the reasons we, in fact, don’t like ourselves (and that’s being kind). But that’s not fun or very productive.

Give yourself the gift of love and self-acceptance today! And everyday.